Regrets Waste Time and Energy - Learn from It and Move On

Image by Mixtribe Photo via Flickr

Never regret anything — that is what I want to share today — regrets waste too much time and energy. 

What is past is past; it happened and it is over. Learn from it and move on!

Claim what you say in anger. Accept it and apologise if you deliberately hurt someone's feelings, and move on!

You have the right to express your emotions. 

How another person feels or reacts is their problem and they must sort it out for themselves. It is their thoughts about what you said that are causing them pain which they cover with anger, not your words. 

Move on!

Saving up grievances, stirring up shit in your mind over and over and over to resentfully throw it in someone else's face as soon as an opportunity presents itself is wrong. It is very belittling to you!

Such actions fuel more resentment and it eventually kills people, whether it is through an addiction, disease or depression.

I repeat, regrets waste time and energy — take the lesson from it and Move On! 

It happened to teach you something so pay attention to what your emotions are telling you, not to what the other person has said.

Another encounter with my dear, sainted mother brought this up.

I used to believe I was like everyone else — I certainly wanted to be in my teens and twenties  — even though I always felt separate from everything. 

Man, I tried so hard.

I did everything to be accepted and acted like everyone else in the family: petty, angry, critical instead of helpful, sniping, laughingly mean-spirited, pointing fingers, and I boasted about my physical abuse and the resulting scars from the beatings.

         Image by Mixtribe Photo I deliberately killed love every day with those actions; denying myself the right to embody who I am: all in hindsight of course.


I reflected what my mother taught me, you see and when I was old enough, I took over.

Her long-term goal in keeping me separate from the rest, as the oldest child, was to take care of everything and everyone, her included.


A strong and very able-bodied woman, I might add.

My values, like my siblings reflected those of my mother. She knew no better and did not seek other ways of living when she had the opportunity because she was too afraid. She preferred the ignorance of those around her.

It is only when I started my first real job in a government ministry and interacted with others that I discovered other people's lives were completely different from mine. I was nineteen then.

That clarity and understanding flooded into me about my lost, youthful years — spilt milk but all the same — when I discovered that my 72 year old mother had locked me out of the house again.

Her silent retaliation, as she never acknowledges her actions or even feigns an apology (that is an anathema to her) because I did not respond to her manipulation tactics the previous night.

I always have my key on me (even when sitting on the porch) after she repeatedly and deliberately did the same thing on five previous occasions.


I shrugged to her "why didn’t you call" and thought:  

"May you be well, May you be happy, May you be filled with loving kindness". 

Her actions did not bother me. I severed that umbilical cord on 3 February 2011.

An all encompassing, righteous, compassionate love and gratitude swelled in my heart for her at the same time.
        Image by Mixtribe Photo
If it wasn't for this woman, I would not be the strong, powerful and indomitable woman I am today and forever.

My life mantra says it all and she, my sad, pain-filled mother, brought me to this place where 

I am love, discernment, confident, resourceful, assertive and unstoppable. A beacon called to share my light and talents with the world, and to be real, generous and inspiring.

Again, thank you to Chloe Taylor Brown for teaching me this on a radio show entitled Get Over Yourself hosted by Bob Doyle with Brad Yates EFT wizard extraordinaire, and the lady herself.

Yes, I am filled with eternal gratitude and always will be for this large-spirited woman who played small all her life when she decided that the best way to get ahead in life, when all else seemed to fail, was to belittle, denigrate, abuse and wilfully endanger her first and last children in order to control them.

Her end-game was to get her children to take care of her. 

If she had not acted as she did, today she would be in a much better place emotionally but then again, I would not embody who I am today if things were different. So it's all good.